Topic: Naughty Jokes by iamjuki

First Top 10

10. blitzkrieg - the girl asked the boy

girl: do you think i'm pretty.

boy: I think you have the face of the saint..... a saint bernard. "

9. mr. perk - a bf and a gf goes to the motel.

the gf sings: bulilit, bulilit ang liit-liit.

the bf responded: bulilit, bulilit sanay sa masikip.

8. iva rodas - what's the difference between peanut butter and jam? you cannot peanut butter your ummm on someones ummm.

7. astroboy - when a cherry turns red it's ready to be eaten. when a girl turns 18 she's ready to...vote

6. blitzkrieg - a girl asked the boy why he become priest.

girl: bakit ka ba nagpari?

boy: girl, ayaw kasi nilang magmadre ako.

5. NCO - what's the similarity between a banana and an old woman's boobs? they're both "saging."

4. noname - "you cannot taste me unless you take my dress" saging.

3. grandslam - paano nalaman ni pinocchio n kahoy siya? kasi nung pinapalo niya ung unggoy, ayun nagliyab.

2. homer singson - there were two ladies that were molested by two men. The first lady tries to forgive the men .

Lady 1: hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.

and the second lady reacted.

Lady 2: ay, 'yung sa akin magaling.

1. dexter - condom and napkin talking to each other.

condom: alam mo pag nabenta ka? isang linggo akong bakante:

napkin: eh ako nga, pag pumalpak ka. 9 months akong jobless.

Second Top 10

10. artium - define love. Love is affection with intention for injection in midsection during private session.

9. NCO - anong nangyari kay tweety bird nung nagalit siya? naging "Big Bird".

8. jordan - pano ginagawa ang itlog na maalat? binabalot sa brief.

7. T-camps - what is the maximum speed for sex? 68kph, kasi pag umabot ka ng 69, babaligtad ka na.

6. astroboy - girl1: hinalay ako ng lalaki sa kanto.

girl2: bilis kumain ka ng kalamansi.

girl1: bakit? para sa vitamin C.

girl2: to wipe-off that grin on your face.

5. jasminea - "OPEN WIDE!!! so i can get my tool in your mouth" said the dentist.

4. padjodaep - how are women and tornadoes alike? they make aloud noise when they come and they take the house when they leave.

3. kimpunisher - a guy came home and found his wife only in her undies.

wife: itali mo ako at gawin mo ang gusto mo.

so the guy, tied his wife...... and play DOTA.

2. sasha purse - 3 men died and went straight to hell. the devil informed them that as punishment for their sins, their thingies will be remove.

men: how?

devil: whatever your fathers jobs are.

man1's father is a lumberjack

man2's father is a blacksmith

man3's father is a popsicle maker. now imagine.

1. bongski - what do elephants used as prompons? chip.

Topic: Things to tell a couple, thinking of breaking up by maximo

First Top 10

10. coolaids - "pagisipan mong mabuti at least may kasama ka during weekend (think about it at least you have someone during weekend). "

9. clement dude - "don't bother, you'll end up anyway."

8. mr. perk - "sometimes ending a romance is the only way to save the friendships."

7. lady bumcake - "it's called a breakup because its' already broken."

6. octopen - "breaking up doesn't mean weakness, in many cases it is strength."

5. jp illago - "there's plenty of fish in the sea."

4. parents nigael - "if breaking up means you both go to your respective partner then, GO. "

3. noname - "leave while you're in love" or "leave while there is still love."

2. supah27 - "pagkatapos mong magparetoke ng pagkadami-dami para lng magustuhan ka niya.!!! "

1. noname - "don't end it, mend it."

Second Top 10

10. lady bumcake - "pag natikman mo na, pwde mo ng iluwa."

9. mr. perk - "breakup, why? is there anything to break?"

8. noname - "if it's true love, you don't have to fight so much about it. "

7. sky is so lay - " toss coin n lng" or "bato-bato pick..."

6. young indie - "pag hindi ka na happy sa sex life, meron namng toys for the big boys."

5. luis - "buti ngayon na kesa meron pang anak n madadamay."

4. blitzkrieg - "pag nakalawit na putulin na."

3. jules burn - "can you imagine the rest of your life with him or can you imagine him with someone else. if the answer to both is NO, give it one more try. "

2. ace of heart - "your heart needs a break. "

1. blue feather- "you can't fix something by pretending that it's not broken. "