First Top 10
10. Addie17 - Back in college, I was walking along Mendiola when this manong came up to me out of nowhere and said: “Hi, beauty!” So I answered: “Hello, beast.”
9. Diwata - During a wedding, an aunt asked me: “Kelan ka susunod?” I answered: “Tita naman, how would you feel kung magkita tayo sa burol and I asked you the same question?”
8. Jen - “Hindi ko sinasabing maganda ako. Ang sinasabi ko lang pangit ka.”
7. Mr. Perk – Girl to a guy she doesn’t like: “Email me na lang at getlost@donttalktome.com”
6. Forg – While studying a difficult lesson in school, a classmate told his groupmate: “I’m as confused as your sexuality!”
5. RC and Cess – Sister ordered burger with no lettuce. Burger arrived with lettuce. When she got mad manager apologized and offered free side order. Sister: “Ang gusto lang, tanggalin ang lettuce, hindi yung bigyan niyo ko ng kung anu-ano!”
4. Hakunamatata – Girl1: Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?
Girl2: Eh ikaw, bakit ang sama mo tignan?
3. Arvie – “Pag nakikita kita, parang gusto ko mag-sorry sa mga mata ko.”
2. Glenskie – “Diba pag pangit ka dapat nice ka?”
1. Boknoi – Wife: Bili mo kong bagong bra!
Husband: Wag ka na mag-bra, maliit naman boobs mo eh.
Wife: Eh bakit ikaw, nagbi-brief?
Second Top 10
10. Xuxalera – After waiting in line so long at the toilet, when I was next in line, a girl approached me and said: “Miss, puwede sumingit? Naiihi na ko eh.” I told her: “Eh ano ba sa palagay mo ang rason kung bakit kami lahat nakapila dito?”
9. Andee/Maymay – When someone told me: “Ang ganda mo!” I answered: “Sana ikaw din…”
8. No name – Annoying classmate: Guys, guys, saan kayo pupunta?
Kami: Papalayo sa yo.
7. Foxmodem – I was an intern 3 years ago in a charity hospital about to circumcise a boy. The mom of the boy bought an ampule of local anesthesia but forgot to buy a syringe. The nurse told her: “Mommy, anong gagawin ko dito sa lidocaine, ibubudbod ko sa tit* ng anak mo?”
6. No name – When we gave coins to a kid beggar, he said: “Hello, ni value meal di ako makabili nito!”
5. Cootchiemhie – Boy: Para akong lalagnatin.
Girl: Eh di parang uminom ka ng gamot. Malay mo, parang gagaling ka.
4. Vanilla Ben – Boy: Masarap?
Girl: Bumili ka, para malaman mo.
3. No name – Girl sees a guy peeing against the wall: “Yuck, ang liit ng tit*, ang daming bulb*l!” Guy: “Ano gusto mo, maliit ang bulb*l at madaming tit*?”
2. Grace – When the cashier at the grocery said: “Miss, puwedeng kendi nalang ang sukli ko sa yo?” I told her: “Bakit, tsokolate ba ang binayad ko?”
1. Andee – At a swimming pool.
Officemate1: I’m sure lulutang ka.
Officemate2: Bakit, dahil payat ako?
Officemate1: Hindi, dahil plastic ka.
